Who is Depressingly Anonymous?

Depressingly Anonymous tells me that she, yes, she wants to be known as a woman…she wants people to know that when she is blogging you, the general public, are going to see similarities in her real feelings, her ideas, her emotional outbursts, the raw emphatic real life situations that she is going to share and tell us about MAY actually merge with your own life and get this…these things do happen to other people…THEY JUST DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. Mental illness and physical illness took over her life for the past almost seven (7) years. She is still fighting for her life. Surviving day-to-day…sometimes hour-to-hour. No one knows exactly how to do it. No one. She doesn’t even know how she does it sometimes. There are times when you have to just throw your hands up and say enough is enough and walk away to the bedroom, bathroom, the other room and close the door. Close it out. Shut it out. You can’t shut off your mind but you can shut out the other stuff. Shut it out. Take a breath. Cry if you have to. Breath a little. Make it known that when you walk away that whomever is near you needs to stay away…only for a few minutes…until you open the door again. Well gotta run. Incoming. Won’t have any peace for a while. Take care and be well.

Whose Opinion Matters Then?

Depressingly Anonymous called me this morning. A few people had gathered and they were chillaxin’. Yeah doin’ what most people do when sitting around on a Friday night having a few drinks and what not after a long, hard work week. Chillaxin’ ya know? Any way the tv was on and they saw a commercial with a gay teacher and someone who is generally quiet pipes up and says “yeah, we are supposed to be role models for our children, should we have gay teachers?” and she said you just heard a lull in everything and someone said “am I wicked if I say no?” and she said the quiet one said “our opinion doesn’t matter.”

So think about what Depressingly Anonymous just shared with me. Whose opinion is it? How do we get to share our opinion? How do we do it peaceably? Legally?

I think this is enough thought for my racing mind to comprehend today.  Depressingly Anonymous…you really give me food for thought.  This racing mind of mine reacts the same as your’s and I am sure there are many more of us depressed and other wise challenged in the very same ways and YES even the same thoughts.

Being hailed. Gotta run. Three doggies gotta go out.  Bandit, Prince Pappi, and Haley Bug.

Until later, Take care and be well. Chauncey.

Broken Trust

Do You Have Any Suggestions As To How Long It Takes To Get Over The Broken Trust?

So talked to Desperately Anonymous the other day and she has a trust issue going on. Someone with mental illness has issues with trust. It takes them a long time to regain trust when it is lost. She had just become trusting with her partner when she discovered her partner lied to her and not by her partner telling her the truth. This was very disheartening to her. She is very upset. It was not a sexual thing at all.  It is just the fact that she was just becoming trusting and believing and now this. She even believed it was time to become intimate again.

Her partner had over a month to tell the truth since the incident.  At the time the story she was told sounded a little hinky but she had gotten to trust her partner so she said okay and continue on, never once thinking she was being lied to. It was said that she was lied to because someone else was there…but…she could have been told the truth immediately when that person was no longer in the vicinity or when they returmed home.

Never once was she told the truth and she had to find out by seeing it unfold before her eyes when unknowingly they had returned to the scene of the crime because her partner had not told her the truth thus they were confronted once again.  She stood there and just said “So you lied to me?!?”

I have a major trust issue as well with my mental illness.  Desperately Anonymous tells me that she doesn’t know how long it will take her to get over this.  How long would it take you? How long should it take? She tells me she makes sure every night her partner knows she loves them. She gives her partner a hug. A kiss good night. The usual night time routine a couple goes through but during the day there is not a lot of hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. Could you? Would you?

With my own trust issues and mental illness I’m with Desperately Anonymous in that it would take me a very long time to regain that trust. I am a very open and honest person. That one quality I expect from everyone I know. If I don’t get it, I can’t have a mutual respect for that person and then that person is not a person I can have as a close friend and if you can’t have a close friend in your partner or husband in my case then what have you got? Desperately Anonymous I wish you a short journey back to your trust with your partner.

What would you do? Do you have any suggestions?

Take care and be well. Chauncey.

Near Death

Near Death

Depressingly Anonymous was extremely upset when we met the day after Labor Day. She felt she died that night. She had been munching away on some M&Ms and her little dog was sitting there getting one for every handful mom had when evidently mom fell asleep and her little dog was still waiting for her next M&M. She awoke gasping deeply, more deeply than her sleep apnea ever made her and she did this four or five times in a row thinking she was dead and had come back to life. She really thought she died. It took her over an hour to regulate her breathing.

Funny thing, she didn’t see a white light at the end of the tunnel. She didn’t feel she needed to change the way she was living. She did not feel reborn. She was scared that she had come so close to losing her life. She thought she had died. That was what she felt. 

She has actually come to feel a loss. A little loneliness.  But hey being a clinically depressed person comes with those perks anyway.

How do you think you would feel? Did she die? Should she feel she has had a second chance at life? Should it have affected her? Would it have affected you?

Let us know. Depressingly Anonymous feels that she SHOULD HAVE felt something. But that also means that she is falling for what people have told us all our lives what SHOULD be the “norm”.  Depressingly Anonymous is not the “norm” by no means nor shall she ever be.

Chauncey